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Her image seemed to be burned into my mind as I looked at myself. Finally, done with my mental torture, I decided to take it to a physical level. I walked over to my refrigerator and pulled out a black trash bag, fiercely throwing away all of the food I could get my hands on. I didn’t want it anymore. It took two big trash bags and a small one to finish, but when I was done, I smiled, seemingly satisfied. The only things left to be found were bread, water, and milk. I almost happily dragged the trash bags out to the industrial garbage can and threw them in. This was it. My self-mutilation process had begun. My weight quickly and agonizingly burned away. Every time I felt like eating, I looked at myself in the mirror and mentally cursed myself. ‘How dare you crave food, you fat little whore!’ my mind continually screamed through time. Within a matter of weeks, I was down to 110 pounds. The more I looked at my thinning figure, the more I enjoyed it. As my weight slowly withered away,. I'm about to lay down the law and claim our house back."When my parents left, Tracy and I just held each other. I knew we were not going to follow my Mom's advice. Someday I may wish I had. I gave us until Thanksgiving. Until then I was going to enjoy every moment with Tracy I could get. I was going to stop asking for a relationship. I was going to focus on what we did well together. Make myself the Big Man on Campus she wanted, and having sex. Those were two things that we could agree on, if I had enough sex with her the problem of my wandering dick would go away.Monday September 30, 2013 – Freshman YearI woke to find Tracy still in my arms. We didn't talk last night. We simply held each other until we started to make out. Our love making the previous evening had been gentle. It had brought us closer together, but in the back of our minds, I think we both knew that our relationship was running on borrowed time. The problem with knowing a relationship might be ending was it puts you.
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